Question?
How can I help friends or loved ones who are in the contemplation stage?
The best way to provide support is to share information about specific benefits that come with adopting healthier behaviors. For example, tell them that a person who starts a moderate exercise program will sleep better at night and have more energy during the day. These are usually benefits everyone can relate to and wants to enjoy.
Preparation
People who are in the preparation stage have already started taking small steps toward acquiring new, healthy habits. For example, if a person wants to be more active, she has gone out and bought a new pair of walking shoes. Or, if a person wants to eat more healthfully, he has purchased a book such as this one, full of heart-healthy recipes and tips for incorporating better snacking habits.
The best way to help someone who is in the preparation phase is to provide support and encouragement to continue to take action. Keep visual cues and props in obvious places. For example, post pictures of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains on the refrigerator or pictures of fit and healthy role models. Keep workout equipment, such as shoes, both at home and in the office as reminders. Persist in learning about all the benefits that can be derived from eating nutritious foods, staying active, managing stress, and feeling your best.
Action
In the action stage, things start to get exciting. This is the first sixmonth period of starting up a new exercise program, following a new eating pattern, or of integrating new methods of relaxation into your day. Studies show that it typically takes two months to develop a new habit, and that as many as 50 percent of people who start a new program drop out within the first six months. Strategies to make it through the first six months include eliciting support from friends, family, and coworkers or keeping useful reminders to continue doing your new routines and practices in places that you look frequently.
Maintenance
The ideal conclusion to a concentrated effort in making a behavioral change is to reach the maintenance phase. In the example of incorporating regular activity, a person gets to the maintenance phase when she has been exercising regularly for at least six months. The odds of giving up this new habit after that length of time are low. The behavior becomes self-motivating because it is easy to feel the benefits and rewards of the healthy activity. It’s still important to incorporate fun and different activities to keep motivation levels high, but the longer the behavior is continued the less and less likely it is going to be dropped.
Dealing with Relapse
As the saying goes, humans are creatures of habit. Change is not easy. Relapsing is a normal part of the process. In fact, studies show that people who ultimately succeed in quitting smoking usually have tried to quit at least three times.
Approach the process of change as a learning experience. With every step forward, figure out what worked. With every step backward, rather than beating yourself up, try to determine why that backward step occurred. If you approach transformation of your habits as a journey and as a self-learning adventure, you are likely to be more successful. Remember to forgive yourself and keep right on going.
Find ways to incorporate healthy habits that work for you so that you will continue to do them. For example, if you don’t care for raisins, don’t plan to eat them on your oatmeal every morning for breakfast. It will feel like taking a nasty medicine that you hate. Instead, find something that you like to eat that is also good for you and plan to include more of it in your diet.
If you find that you need someone to help keep you accountable with your diet or in a regular exercise program, consult a registered dietitian or hire a personal trainer to work with on a regular basis. Don’t set yourself up to fail. Set yourself up to win. Don’t punish yourself. Reward yourself. Find solutions that work and make you feel good about you.
Believe in Yourself
Another important concept that researchers have determined is fundamental to successful change is how much you believe in your own ability to achieve it. Self-confidence is important. The more you believe that you can be successful, the more likely you will be successful. In contrast, if you see yourself as a person who simply can’t eat nutritious foods or who can’t possibly find time to move around more during the day, then it will be true for you. Your perception of yourself is powerful.
Furthermore, the power of your belief in yourself is behavior-specific. For example, you may be very confident that you can walk at least thirty minutes a day on most days of the week. At the same time, you may be very unsure of the fact that you can eat more vegetables and less candy every day. You need to build your confidence in each particular area that you want to succeed. Also, you need to believe that you can achieve the goals that you set for yourself.
Identify Your Priorities
Here’s an interesting exercise that helps you to get in touch with what really matters in your life. Take a few moments to write down the top five things that are important to you. Examples of items you may want to include might be your family, health, community, profession, a hobby, political causes, or volunteer work. Then, on the same piece of paper, list the top five activities that take up most of your time in an average day. Note the percentage of your waking time that they require.
Take a moment to compare how you spend your time each day with what you value most importantly in your life. Have you found a good match? Or have you realized that you are neglecting some things that are very important to you? Once you increase your awareness of the way you are spending your time versus the way you want to spend your time, you can start making a difference. As you bring your unconscious habits and behavior patterns out into the open, you can begin realistically to assess small steps that you can take toward your new goals.
For example, if you realize that you are spending three hours each day watching television and no time walking or participating in any other type of moderate physical activity, you can see that there is some time in your day that you can carve out to use for exercising. If you really can’t give up your television time, then consider ways to do some exercises as you watch your favorite programs. Then, try to do this at least four days a week.
Enjoy the Rewards of Your Effort
Last, but certainly not least, remember to reward yourself for your good behavior. For example, promise yourself that if you stick to your new eating plan or exercise schedule for four consecutive weeks, you will reward yourself with a nice massage, or buy yourself some new exercise clothing.
Living in a time when we can strive to optimize our health is truly a privilege. When you move about, be aware of the joy of experiencing the sensation of your muscles in action. As you eat a dish of fresh foods, savor the flavors, colors, aroma, and textures that whole foods add to your dining pleasure. And as you feel stronger, more energetic, and simply more alive, know that it is the direct result of your efforts to create a healthy life. You can do it-just keep believing in yourself and in your worth-because you are worth it.